I turned 33 this week.

It’s not 30 or 35, and it’s certainly not 21 or 25, but I’m here for it.

The reality of this age is that I feel like another gray hair pops up each week, and the best version of a good time is getting to drink my coffee hot without being rushed to get out the door or a mid-afternoon nap on a Sunday. 

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I sound 50.

I tell people to get off my lawn from time to time, too. Just kidding. I mean, I have barreled out my front door at 2 a.m. to correct the college student neighbors of mine for playing music too loud. But whatever, I digress.

Mom recently asked me what I wanted for my birthday. We typically have the same conversation each year :

“No need to get me anything.”

“Feel free to get me what you want me to have.”

But, this year… I may have asked for indestructible toys for Milo (who still needs his own post soon) or gift cards for groceries and things I hate buying (like toilet paper). 

I may not be a broke college student anymore, but if I have learned anything by 33 – it’s how to be practical. 

Aside from the getting older thing, I typically spend the week of my birthday reflecting on where I’ve been and trying to decide where I’m going. 

I can’t say I’m exactly where I thought I would be when I was 25; but, I can say that the beginning of my 30s has been full of life lessons that continue to shape who I am.

At 30, I experienced a lot of hurt feelings and betrayal. But, I also learned what it means to have a circle of people who are loyal and who care – and how to pick myself up when I fall. 

I spent 31 learning more about how to be a better me. I made mistakes. I laughed a lot. I made some more mistakes. And more importantly, I learned the value of standing still and leaning into the moment. 

And while 32 wasn’t easy, it did give me perspective. 

• Losing Stella taught me that the heartbreak I felt at 30 was nothing in comparison to the connection, love and loyalty that I lost in December. 

• Thirty-two taught me that change isn’t always terrible and that you don’t lose someone just because they move six hours away.

• It taught me how to create systems to handle what I can control and that it’s okay to not have everything planned and put together all the time. 

Finally, 32 also taught me it was okay to trust again and to love big — that some risks are worth it. 

Now at the door of 33, I find myself longing for more quality time with the people I love most – simply slowing down long enough to enjoy life. And! I wouldn’t have the slightest care in the world if that meant more cups of coffee (or bourbon) on a porch without a single plan for the day. 

They say wisdom comes with age.

I don’t know who “they” is (I’m often searching for an adult in the room to take care of things). But, I do hope to spend the next chapter in my book on loving people more; not forgetting who I am or where I came from; and, doing more of what genuinely makes my soul happy with family and friends. 

Here’s to 33!