Prior to the fall of 2017, I wrote a column for a local paper and magazine. Each month, I contributed one article titled “Real Talk with Real People,” which provided an opportunity to highlight people in my community who are sometimes complicated and sometimes a beautiful mess – but at the very core, very real. In February of 2017, I wrote about my friend Sid Collins. Fast forward five years later, and this piece still holds so much advice and truth.

I was raised by the uniform. With a large number of family members in both law enforcement and the military, I’ve always been able to pick those folks out in a crowd. I can’t tell you the exact date I met Sid Collins – but I immediately knew he fell into that category. 

Shortly after meeting Sid through our Versus Strength and Conditioning outdoor workout group, I learned he was in the National Guard and worked at Camp Shelby. Bingo! 

When I made my list of people I wanted to feature here, Sid was at the top. While being friends for the last year and a half, I realized I didn’t really know him outside of our Versus connection. And that’s where this story unfolds.

Throughout the last month, I’ve exchanged several emails with Sid (who is currently in Kosovo, serving as the Director of Public Works for Area Support Team – Balkans). I’m not sure if either of us knew what to expect from these ping-pong emails, but I know one thing for certain … my world is better for knowing Sid and I’m excited to share him with you.

Building a connection.

Sid didn’t say much at workout during those first few months when he joined us, but to be fair … it is at 6 a.m. I don’t talk much, either. Even still, I found his witty commentary on Facebook and in our group text messages to be contagious. 

It didn’t take me long to learn that Sid’s love for coffee is right up there with Jesus, his wife Julie and his two children – Emily (14) and Keith (11). And in time, I’ve learned something else… he has an extraordinary connection with many in our community. 

When he left for Kosovo last summer for his year-long assignment, my Facebook feed quickly transformed into the “Sid Show.” I didn’t know we had so many overlapping circles of friends and from that, I immediately recognized three things:

1. His church community would need to be quick on their feet in terms of who would serve them the best of coffee during his absence.
2. People of all ages love him. 
3. His family would be taken care of well, while he was away. 

And after looking back through all of our conversations … I understand why those things were so prevalent. 

Sid has a strong sense of family – not always bound by blood – but by his genuine connection to people who desire to help, lift up, encourage, and motivate one another. 

I’ve always been told you get what you give in this world… and I know first-hand that Sid’s communities – family, work, church and gym – are built by what he and Julie give.

Community in the valley.

Sid and Julie have been through several life moments that could have easily worn any one of us down to a hopeless place of self-pity. But, not these two. 

They met in the early 90s at Parkway Heights United Methodist Church when Sid interviewed for the position of director at Early Encounters. After several tours with the Army, they were later married. In 1999 they left Hattiesburg for Knoxville for Sid to pursue his PhD. 

Within five years, they had Emily, Keith, a half-finished PhD and a small side business. But due to unforeseen circumstances in 2006, Julie was suddenly out of work. 

“Living indoors and eating food requires us to work full time, so we decided to move back to Hattiesburg. It was the one place where we had a support network, friends, and family – especially at Parkway Heights,” he said.

Sid went on to tell me that their church family made all the difference for them at that point – but it had nothing to do with the sermons or the songs. “It was never one specific thing that made it matter the most. It was all of the little moments. Julie is from Jackson and I am from Natchez, but we’ll both tell you that our home is Hattiesburg and Parkway Heights.” 

Since moving back to town, their church family continues to remain a solid place to plant their feet – but for more than the coffee on Sunday. 

In 2010, Sid was involved in a car accident that left him with a bruised heart, a collapsed lung, an internal laceration of the liver, four broken ribs, countless burns of severe degree, and more.

This is the part of Sid’s story where I am speechless. There aren’t any words to describe the damage seen in the photos from the wreck. 

“I didn’t understand the extent of my injuries [that day] and that my life was close to ending. But I prayed and I plead with God. I had only been back from Iraq for 3 months and I wanted more time with my family. I remember putting faith in Him, and I faded away. I woke up from a coma nine days later,” he said.

I’m baffled that he was able to survive that kind of impact, but I admire how he refers to his church family’s response after the wreck. 

“[October 28, 2010] was the day of the accident and one of the most awesome moments in a loving community ever.” 

Sid went on to describe an unparalleled response in the form of phone calls, visits, support and prayers; and he attributes much to their Parkway Heights family during that time in their lives. “They made so many things possible, and even six years later, they continue to do so.”

He said, “For the last several years, I’ve continued physical rehabilitation. Although my lung was reinflated after the wreck, I never regained the use and ability I had prior. I am tired all of the time; and when I arrive at church, it’s like I have coasted into a gas station on fumes. But being around my friends, their children, and their elderly parents… it gives me energy. I look forward to helping the elderly get in and out of their vehicles, serving coffee, and telling the same silly joke to Amanda and Jeremy Cascio’s daughter every week. It all gives me joy.” 

When I think about what church should look like, I can’t help but think of it as this portrait of love, encouragement, and emotional support from a tightly-wound community.

A different kind of healing.

While Sid’s church community provided help and support for the family after the wreck, it wasn’t long before he began seeking out an additional community to help him on another journey.

“Thanks to the Army, I’ve always been able to stay in shape. But after the wreck, I had to start over,” he said. “I was stoically rehabbing in my own way and there was a lot of pressure for me to pass the semi-annual Army Physical Fitness Test (APFT) for the National Guard.” 

Sid attributes a lot of encouragement and success for passing the APFT to his colleagues and peers at Camp Shelby, but knew he needed more. At the same time, Julie felt the same. In 2015, they both joined Versus.

“We had several friends at church who were members and we could see it worked,” he said. “Years of law enforcement and military experience enables me to detect fraud in human interactions at about a mile away. But at Versus, they are genuine. The added bonus with our outdoor group is that I also got a new set of friends.” 

Shortly after joining, Julie experienced a life-threatening illness that required two emergency surgeries. After battling back and months of healing, she was cleared to get back to it – but it required a very selective approach by the coaches. “They never missed a step in helping craft a program that worked for her,” he said. 

“God’s timing and all that, but Versus came along at the right moment. We had something we could do together and more than that, it was tailored to our own physical rehab needs.”

A stable foundation.

When Sid left for Kosovo, Julie began working out with our group downtown in the morning, three days a week. 

With that, our crew has gotten to know this woman who has the most comforting smile and who willingly celebrates with you when you need it. An encouraging smile really does go a long way, especially at 6 a.m.

Through getting to know Julie, we’ve also been able to see a different side of Sid. A side that is a little mushy, for lack of a better word. Though more than 5,500 miles separate them right now, his admiration for his wife is evident through his words.

“Free unsolicited advice warning, Sam – if you can live without someone in your life, then don’t marry them. I cannot live without Julie in my life.”  [I’ll wait for you to grab a tissue, now]

I asked him to expand on that a little more, and he had this to say: 

“Twenty years ago, we were much different people. But we’ve grown together and now, we are less drastic characters who compliment each other. Julie has empathy and compassion. I have reservation and suspicion. I see details. She sees the message. She sings classical music at the civic opera level. I sing with the radio alone in my truck.” 

While Sid’s world is full of community, it’s clear that his relationship with Julie is the anchor. 

The truth is… real life isn’t always pretty. But the people who join us during the toughest of moments and biggest of celebrations give us strength in ways we could never imagine. 

Simply – we all need those people we can hold onto when the proverbial of life hits the fan; and in Sid’s world, he has plenty to choose from.